Tuesday, May 28, 2013

The Whole30: I'm Not Gonna Sugar Coat it...But I'd Like to.

There are three kinds of people in this world who decide that doing a dietary detox is a good idea:
1.  Crazy People.
2.  People who listen to their mothers.
3.  People who feel like crap and can't stand going to the doctor.

Lucky for me, I'm all three.  So, what's a detox you say?? Well, person #1 would call it dietary hell, #2 would say it's a process of ripping yourself away from beer and cupcakes in hopes that it might actually turn your mother-daughter chats into pleasantries instead of whiny-ass rants, and #3 would say it's cleansing your body of all the deliciously satisfying crap you have consumed over the years and losing your craving/desire for those foods in the process.

Sounds fun, doesn't it??

Why am I doing this detox thing?? Well, the thing is called the Whole30.  And, I'm doing it (Day 16, baby!!) because my mama thinks that I should.  Actually, that's only partially true.  Here's the whole truth:
Around Christmas, my mom asked me if I had ever heard of the Whole30 and then proceeded to tell me about a friend of hers who was cured of her chronic migraines after doing the detox.  "Awesome!" I said to myself while cracking open another beer and scanning the pantry for something salty.  Ever since I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at the age of 19, I've been on a mission to stay as far away from prescriptifying doctors as possible, which has meant committing to a lifestyle of healthy eating and regular exercise.  But, I'm no dietary saint.  Beer, chips and chocolate are a necessary evil 'round here.

Okay, so the next time I saw my mom....AND the next 17 times we talked on the phone she asked me if I had read about the Whole30.  Sometimes, I just want to rant about how sucky it is that my adrenals, hormones and thyroid are on strike, they refuse to work, and because of that I'm doggy dog-tired, foggy brained, over-sensitive, achy all over and, well, we'll leave the symptom list at that.  But, no, my mom isn't just gonna let me rant, she is going to smack me with this Whole30 crap until I wake up and smell the suggestion.

Grrrrr.  With this nagging idea in the back of my mind, I grab a beer and park it with the laptop on the couch and Google "Whole30."  Long story short, I'm on day 16 and, dare I say, I'm starting to feel better?? Better as in more energetic, more reasonable, more cheerful, less bloated, less achy, well rested.....that's probably enough for now, I don't want to jinx it or anything.
If you want to, you can read all about the Whole30 here, but if you come away from their website thinking you might want to jump in on all this craziness, I recommend going all out and buying their book , It Starts With Food.  For me, this was really important because I needed to know exactly  WHY I was going to spend 30 days eliminating so many of the foods I enjoy from my diet.  That's right, try to wrap your sweet little head around:
NO Grains (N.O.N.E. none. Buh-bye wheat, rice, corn, and every crazy gluten-free grain too.)
NO Dairy (Not really a biggie for me, but wine and cheese night with the hub is not going to happen without cheese.  Or, wine. BumERRRRR!!!)
NO Alcohol (Please, a moment of silence.)
NO Sugar and NO Sugar Substitutes (Those healthy honey cookies and muffins?? OUT! Please pass the tissues.)
NO Legumes (Okay, no beans big deal right??  BUT did you forget about peanut butter - hello the mother of all snack-a-liciousness?? Major whammy.  Major.)
If you are clawing something right now just thinking about letting go of any or all of these foods, I feel your pain! But, it also may be an indicator that this detox may be good for you.  Eliminating the foods on their list from your diet (they believe) cleanses not only the body but also the mind from our psychological attachment to those foods.  I'll admit, I snickered a bit at that idea, because for years I've been trying to eat clean, and watch the amount of sugar that I consume.


Without going into too much depressing detail, I will say that detaching myself from even my pseudo-healthy diet hasn't been a cake-walk.  I thought going gluten free (which has, by the way, significantly improved my health) was a challenge, but the Whole30 makes that seem like a chocolate butter cream frosting cake walk.

What the heck is the point of this post??

Well, I was supposed to tell you why I'm doing the Whole30.  Did I cover that??
But, now, I think I'm gonna be my mama for a moment and say this to you:
I believe that the what we put into our bodies either nourishes it or hurts it.  Much of the food we eat today is not at the standard for nourishment that it should be, and much of the food that we LIKE to eat is more toxic (processed and chocked full of preservatives) that nutritious.  Soap-boxy, I know, but stay with me.  That being said...

If you are tired every day all the time, achy, moody, struggling to concentrate, battling high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, or any other health issues that keep you from living a full life, and you HATE going to the doctor and PAYING for drugs please consider the Whole30.  Go to the "Testimonials" and read, read, read about real people who have experienced the healing that can come from nourishing the body well.
This detox is requires commitment and focus and is not for those who like to have others tie their shoes for them.  Just a fair warning.  I've got 14 days to go, then I promise a full and thorough report of my own 30 days, just in case you need more convincing, encouragement or entertainment.

Whole30.  Read about it here.  If you cannot resist giving this thing a try, don't blame me, blame my mama.  She started this whole thing.

Love, Peace and Detox.

P.S. Please forgive the potty-talk.  I'm detoxing. It's a side effect.  Pray for me.


  1. I was in until the no alcohol part!!
    Sort-of kidding but I don't know if I have the self-discipline to attempt this challenge ever!!!
    Maybe if I started with a smaller # like 1?
    You are over 1/2 way!!!!! Great job!

    1. I know, giving up wine and beer has been tough! But, remember it's only for 30 days, then you can reintroduce some things to your diet.

  2. I. wish. I. thought. I. could. do. this!

    I'm sure it would be good for me...but no carbs? No sugar? No peanut butter?

    I worry that I couldn't stick to it. (And after the 30 days, do you have to stick to it for life?)

    I'll be interested to know how you feel at the end! Good luck! :)

    1. You could totally do it, Laura!! After 30 days, you can reintroduce some foods back into your diet. I plan to bring back rice and gluten free oats, occasional wine/beer, and a treat every once in a while - I'm not going to make it through summer without ice-cream!! But, the idea is to just cleanse your system and make some healthier adjustments to your current diet/perceptions of what is healthy and what is not.

  3. I'm all for this. Go you!! It's basically what I've been doing for the last year so I am excited when anyone gives it a try because I know how great it feels. I still consume dairy but I don't seem to have any problem with it. My journey began in desperation to regain my health and has resulted in astonishing success and a removal of cravings. Cravings only return when I splurge (I never splurge on wheat, only sugar or starches)... it starts the cycle all over again and why do I want that? I'm finding new ways to "indulge" and I just don't miss any of the old garbage at all.

    To anyone who thinks they can't do it I just say this: Given the proper motivation, you could certainly do it. It's not a matter of "can't" it's a matter of will. Find a reason and just go for it. I was convinced after 3 days. My life was completely altered after a month. I just don't have any reason to go back after a year.

    I've never read this book, Susan, but it looks like a good read. Thanks for the info! I'm going to check my library...

  4. I was wondering if you changed the foods your boys were eating too. I tried this and had an epic fail. Big food addiction here. Congrats!

    1. No, I haven't changed their foods, except for REALLY tightening up the sugar belt. Other than that, I just cook for myself - which isn't a huge change because they eat veggies, fruit and protein at every meal.

  5. Hmmmm....I haven't heard about this detox before. Looking forward to reading your final report in another few weeks!

  6. I gave up everything with flour and sugar for a month and the first week was agony, and the second was better unless I smelled something (like bread baking). After that it was much easier, I lost weight and I felt better in general. But it's so hard to keep up :o( I think I will go for a full 30 day detox, but I'll probably have to wait until summer travels are done and maybe even the kids are all back in school to give myself a reasonable chance of success.

    1. I agree, the first week was crazy hard - harder than I thought it would be! Summer is a great time to detox, because there is so much fresh produce that is delish and makes eating a (little) bit more interesting...but it's also a hard time, because nothing beats a cold margarita with some chips and salsa on the patio!!

  7. Here is a recipe that our family has had many times. Substituting the tahini for almond butter yields a more moist "cake", but it is still good with the tahini. If you are allowed to have cocoa powder, you could try that too instead of the carob powder. Pecans are also good on top if you don't use cocoa nibs.


    Here is a recipe for a cream topping that goes well with the cake.


    This is no Texas sheet cake, but it can sure help with those dessert cravings. My kids all like it too!

    1. Thanks, Sara!! I appreciate your thoughtfulness! :)

  8. I'm on Day 2 of Whole 30. I'm some where between wanting to sleep all day and feeling hungover. Not looking forward to the "kill all the things" days. My poor family! :P

    1. Uggghhhh, the first week is a chrusher!! Hang in there - you can do it!!

  9. Love this post! It is really amazing what the Whole30 can do. I am on Day 16 of my second round of the Whole30 - yes, it's the REAL CRAZY people who do it more than once!

  10. I am going to get the book today. I am so tired of feeling bad, no energy, skyrocketing weight gain and general ugly mood. It won't be easy, but I am determined. Keep me in your prayers. You are a Godsend.


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