Moving Beyond Picture Books & Presents: Helping Your Teens Transition to a Deeper, More Meaningful Advent

"Look up, and lift up your heads, because your redemption is at hand (Luke 21:28)."  

This time of Advent is a time for hope.  These great horizons of our Christian vocation, this unity of life built on the presence of God our Father, can and ought to be a daily reality."

-St. Josemaria Escriva, Life is Passing By

Our family loves traditions, and never more so than those we experience together throughout the Advent and Christmas season.  Just a few days ago, I sat down to make my annual Advent checklist, which looked exactly like this (minus the cute paper and perfect handwriting, add coffee stains and purple marker scribbles, compliments of Jophis):

Over the past fifteen years, the Jesse Tree, Advent wreath, family book basket, Feast of St. Nicholas, and prayers around the nativity traditions have been a wonderful way for us to nurture a deeper faith in our children.  

In an effort to preserve this sacred time, and to truly give meaning to the season of Advent, it is our hope that our children will not just know, but understand and live Advent for that which it is meant to be - a season of preparation.

Yet, I confess, when the world around us begins to break out the Christmas decor before Halloween, it's a great challenge to draw their little hearts in away from secular influences and in toward Jesus Christ.

The challenge is becoming greater, now that we have teens in the house.

Every year I hear Christians chatting about how secularized Christmas has become, and how the season of Advent seems almost to have been forgotten.  We shake our heads, throw up our hands and wonder if it's worth all the effort to keep Christ in Christmas.

I admit, that I feel quite alone the day after Christmas when everyone else is taking down their decorations and lights.  What seems to be the end of the celebration is just the beginning for us.  We take that Twelve Days of Christmas song seriously!

While I'm convinced that those of us who long to live the seasons of Advent and Christmas to the fullest are not going to change society's perspective toward the true meaning of the holidays, we can have a strong and lasting influence within our own families, and pray that they will pass the truths and traditions we teach them on to their own families one day.

Maintaining the magical spirit of the season is simple with little ones, but for our older children, Steve and I have realized that there is a time of transition where they move from a simplistic experience of Christ's coming into a more sincere and efficacious one.

Steve reading from The Holy Mass after Sunday brunch.

Guidance through this transition requires time and effort on our part, and also an authentic example that is visible and trustworthy. Just a few of the ways in which we are forming and nurturing our teenage sons' faith throughout the season of Advent (and beyond) are:

1.  Advent is a Time of Preparation

We remind them that Advent (like Lent) is a time of fast and abstinence meant to prepare our souls for the reception our Lord.  What a great challenge this is, when typically the days leading up to Christmas are filled with abundant opportunities to indulge! Fasting, however, can come in forms other than giving up food.  The fruit of the sacrifice, whatever form it may be, is an increased hunger and longing for our Lord, as well as a humility that recognizes a real need for Him.

2.  Make Prayer a Priority

Making time for family prayer can be difficult, especially with so many activities and responsibilities weighing on our shoulders and our schedules.  But during Advent this is the one thing that, for our family, does not play second fiddle to other committments.  As Catholics, praying the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary together around the nativity is one of our favorite forms of prayer.  If it is late, and the children are restless, sometimes we say just a decade together, then Steve and I will finish the prayers together after the kids go to bed.

3.  Practice Examination of Conscience 

I have written more on that here, but for now, I'll just say that during Advent, in preparation for Christ's coming, we follow the example of John the Baptist who's message was one of conversion, of forgiveness, of repentance (Mark 1:3).  While we strive to pray an examination of conscience with the family once a week, our good night hugs to the older boys are often followed by a simple, "Don't forget to examine your conscience before you go to sleep."

4.  Read Aloud 

Our Christmas book basket is overflowing, as each year I cannot resist adding one or two new stories to the stack.  As the older boys have moved well beyond picture books, we still continue the tradition of reading aloud to them with more challenging texts.  This usually takes place after the evening meal or before night prayer.  Of course we understand that the little ones will reach boredom quickly, so they are allowed to color or play during this time.  We read for a short while and then have discussion.  It's amazing how even Henry, who is 8, and George, who is 10, enjoy participating in the dialog.

 *See list below of what we're reading this season.*

5.  Pray for One Another. 

Steve and I pray for each one of our children every day. But, when it comes to praying for the older children, I believe it's important that we ask them how we can pray for them, and also we request that they pray for us.

This is where the faith gets real.  Faith isn't comprised of a firm devotion to habits and traditions alone, it is a challenging interior work, a daily resolution to become less of ourselves and more of Christ. When we share a few of our own struggles to overcome ourselves, our weaknesses, and our defects with our sons, when we ask for their help through prayer, they see that we are sincere in preparing our own hearts for Christ.

Parents are first and primary Catechists to their children.  The most powerful lessons are always taught best through example.  Steve and I are by no means perfect in our endeavors to form our children in their faith.  But, we struggle on, as I hope you are too, trusting in God's mercy and love to guide us every step of the way.

*Any books relating to the faith, the saints, conversion stories, etc. are great, so long as they encourage discussion and contemplation. *

The Holy Mass 

This book is truly a gem of a read.  While it's not necessarily specific to Advent or Christmas, I wanted to include it here, because it is such a treasure and can be read year round. Steve and I are in awe of how much knowledge and wisdom we are garnering from this little book.  It is a fantastic teaching tool for parents and catechists.

Joy to the World

by Dr. Scott Hahn

The Advent of Christ: Scripture Reflections to Prepare for Christ

by Dr. Ted Sri

Advent and Christmas: Wisdom From Henri J. W. Nouwen

Jesus of Nazareth
Pope Benedict XVI 

Our Family Pilgrimage to Father Kapaun's Home ~ 7 QT Friday

Hellooooo, Friday!! I've really been missing you guys lately, but just can't seem to figure out how to write and run the mothership at the same time.  Our household has been sick this week, so I'm wearing the nurses hat, too.  Since I'm only walking distance form the local bar (seriously, 2.5 blocks), I may be sneaking out tonight for some nerve tonic!

There are so many things I want to share with you guys in this little space, blog ideas abound. Despite the disorganized, dysfunctional life and the lack of time to write, in honor of Veteran's Day being this past week, I thought it would be a perfect time for me to squeeze in a little 7 Quick Takes about a beautiful excursion I took with the boys a few weeks ago to Pilsen, Kansas, home of Father Emil Kapaun, a chaplain of the Korean War, who died a POW in 1951.

A few years ago, my sister, Sara, and I were chatting on the phone and she couldn't wait to tell me about this wonderful little town, a quaint Czech community just north of Wichita, called Pilsen.  She shared with me the story of Father Emil Kapaun, whose cause for sainthood is currently under investigation.  I was so touched by his story and, after reading "A Shepherd in Combat Boots" (very much worth your time), I couldn't wait to visit Pilsen myself.

I don't know why it took so long for me to make the journey to Father Kapaun's shrine, but I can honestly thank my son, Benedict, for getting me there. He came home after school about a month ago and told me that his class would be making a pilgrimage to Pilsen. I was overjoyed with the news and knew that our whole family had to go. 

Before the news of the pilgrimage, I had been saying a novena to Father Kapaun for two intentions which were very close to my heart. Now, I felt as though I could truly unite my prayers to him in a very concrete way.  The timing was perfect. Don't you love Providence?!

It's an understatement to say that our family was changed by the trip to Pilsen.  From their earliest years, we have taught the boys that the saints, whom we ask often to pray for us, show us, above all, the face of Christ.  They encourage us to choose Christ and to love Him, to seek him out in all circumstances, in all situations. That truth sunk in deep during our trip to Pilsen.

The boys were able to connect with Father Kapaun in so many honest, yet profound ways.  Even Charlie, who stayed with me while I fed Joseph in the cry room during the presentation, didn't speak above a whisper while we were in the church.  All of his orneriness shines right through that grin, though!

(Source)

Father Kapaun, no doubt, will soon be canonized a saint. 

Here are just 7 (of so many) reasons why our boys have come to admire this heroic soul:

1.  He was a small town farm boy, just like our boys.  The rolling tree-lined hills that flank the little community of Pilsen are picturesque.  Visiting there is like going back in time, it seems as though not much has changed since Father Kapaun lived there.  I am sure that the physically demanding work and dedication that the farm demanded during his youth were of great benefit to him during his military service.

2.  He led by example.  Many individuals have come forward with stories about Father Kapaun, and none of them talk about how he preached this our that, but rather how he loved and led by example, always encouraging and looking out for others before himself.

Inside the beautiful, historic St. John Nepomucene Cathlic Church

3.  He was a model of humility.  When we arrived at St. John Nepomucene church we spent the first part of the tour listening to a brief history of Father's life, a life full of details shared by a very warm and articulate woman, whom I could see truly loves Father.  She told story after story of how Father Kapaun saved many POW's from death by caring for their wounds, preserving their dignity by helping them bathe in the river, sharing his rations and praying with them and for them.

4.  He smoked a pipe.  On the outside, it seems to be a thing of little significance, but I think what it really points to is how very natural, how very human Father was, and those who served with him were drawn to this naturalness.  They were ultimately drawn to the person of Christ.

5.  He is the most decorated military chaplain in history.  Story after story is told of Father's bravery on the battle field, risking his life time and time again to attend to the needs of other soldiers.  He was known to run through enemy fire dashing between foxholes to deliver food, water, consolation and prayers to the men in the heat of battle.

6.  He was recently awarded the Medal of Honor, the most distinguished honor to be bestowed upon any soldier, living or deceased.  On the Medal of Honor brochure that was given to us on the pilgrimage, the  following was written about Father Kapaun:

As Chinese Communist forces encircled the battalion, Kapaun moved

fearlessly from foxhole to foxhole under direct enemy fire in order to provide

comfort and reassurance to the outnumbered soldiers.  He repeatedly crawled to 

wounded men and either dragged them back to the safety of the American lines, 

or dug shallow trenches to shield them from enemy fire.  As Chinese forces closed in, 

Kapaun rejected several chances to escape, instead volunteering to stay behind

and care for the wounded.

(Of all the memorabilia we were able to experience in the little museum, Father Kapaun's priestly garments were my most favorite.  Seeing them brought tears to my eyes.)

7.  The three miracles that have been attributed to Father Kapaun thus far have all occurred in the lives of young athletes, a soccer player, a pole vaulter, and a marathon runner.  I don't believe that this is a coincidence.  Their stories really had a great impact on the boys, especially Andrew.  

Three fantastic books on the life of Father Kapaun are:

The Miracle of Father Kapaun

(DVD form)

A Shepherd in Combat Boots

A Saint Among Us (great for kids)

If you really want to make a pilgrimage to Father Kapaun's shrine, our diocese hosts a 70 mile hike from Wichita to Pilsen every spring.  I am hoping to make at least part of the journey this fall with the older boys.  You can learn more about it here.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends.  

Father Kapaun, pray for us!!

 

Meeting Teresa Tomeo & SIGNED BOOK GIVEAWAY!!

This giveaway is officially closed.  A great big thank you to all who participated!! 

Here are our WINNERS!!....

Kay Reike ~ "You Go, Girl!"

Kathleen ~ "Extreme Makeover"

Last weekend, I had the privilege of meeting renowned speaker and author, Teresa Tomeo, at a Catholic women's convention.  During the convention, she graciously shared with us her testimony and encouraged the women present to find the fullness of life by seeking and living a life in Christ. (You can read her extraordinary story in her book NEWSFLASH: My Surprising Journey From Secualr Anchor to Media Evangelist.)  

Teresa is a tremendous advocate for women ~ it is her great desire is to help them discover and embrace their identity, value and gifts as women as daughters of a King, not the objectified images that the media portrays a woman of value to be.

After hearing Teresa speak (her Italian spunk and humor captivated all of us!) I was compelled to read and share her books with you. In fact, I think they are so wonderful...

 I'm GIVING AWAY two SIGNED COPIES of them!!! 

The first one is:

Extreme Makeover 
Women Transformed in Christ, Not Conformed to the Culture.   

Extreme Makeover is a powerful and passionately written book that awakens readers to the reality that the self-image of the American woman is being distorted by pop-culture and its emphasis on youth, physical beauty and sexuality. (Excerpt from the book description.).  A truly eye-opening work.  I highly recommend it to everyone!

Wrapped Up: God's Ten Gifts for Women

Teresa's most recent publication. Wrapped Up would be a fantastic book study for a women's group, or   the perfect birthday, Christmas or Mother's Day gift!

Noise: How Our Media Saturated Culture Dominates Lives and Dismantles Families

I finished this book in one sitting.  The statistics are startling!! It is a must read for every parent!

You Go, Girl! A Girls Guide to Her God-Given Gifts

Okay, you all know that I don't have a girl, but I couldn't resist sharing this one with all of you who have daughters! This is also the second book in the giveaway!!

If you would like to learn more about Teresa, her radio programs, books and speaking engagements, visit her website: TeresaTomeo.com

~ TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY ~

Please leave a comment with your e-mail and your book of choice ("Extreme Makeover" or "You Go Girl.")
If you comment does not publish, please send it to www.solesearchingmamma.com

I WILL ANNOUNCE THE WINNER ON Monday, September 3rd!!

A Spirit of Joy

The virtue of JOY has been on my mind a lot lately, and I've been contemplating it within the realm of daily living.  I think that I expect my children to go about their chores, their play and other activities cheerfully, without whining, complaining or fighting.  But, the truth is, they see me respond to difficulty with frustration, they hear me complain at life when it is less than perfect. I model to them a host of contradictions every day (despite my best efforts).

A JOYFUL HEART I desire for them - I must show them mine, first.

Do you remember the movie, Life is Beautiful? I'll never forget the intense love the father had for his son, and how he desired to demonstrate optimism, cheerfulness and JOY in the midst of such dire circumstances.  My daily circumstances will never resemble such a horror as the Holocaust (I hope). And, yet, I struggle to show my children that the hope in my heart for the Lord is stronger than any struggle before me.  That hope is best exemplified through a joyful countenance.

(Photo from Walking With Faith in God Blog)

I am inspired and encouraged by Mother Theresa's words concerning cheerfulness in daily life, taken from the book Heart of Joy, and I hope that you will be too:

What would our life be like if the sisters were not cheerful?  It would be mere slavery.  We would work without attracting anybody. (Yes, who would want to be a stay at home mom if they thought it would be miserable?) Sadness, discouragement, and slowness open the doors for sloth, which is the mother of all evils.

If you are joyful, do not worry about lukewarmness.  Joy will shine in your eyes and in your look, in your conversation and in your countenance.  You will not be able to hide it, because joy overflows.  When people see happiness in your eyes, they will become aware of their nature as children of God. (What a gift our joy is to our children!)

Holy souls sometimes undergo great inward trial, and they know darkness.  but, if we want others to become aware of the presence of Jesus, we must be the first ones convinced of it. Imagine a sister who goes to the slums with a sad face (or a mommy who goes about her home in the same way) and a slow pace.  What can her presence convey to poor people?  Nothing but a deeper discouragement.  Joy is very contagious.  try, therefore, to be always overflowing with joy whenever you go among the poor (or among your family!).

Joy, according to Saint Bonaventure, has been given to man so that he can rejoice in God, because of the hope of the eternal good and on the sight of all the benefits he receives from God.  Thus, he will know how to rejoice at his neighbor's prosperity, how to be pleased in giving glory to God, and how to feel discontent concerning empty things.

Amen!