Andrew Moves up the Ranks to Teenager

Of all of the topics that I blog about, one of my most favorite is our children's birthdays.  It's always difficult to capture in words and pictures how a mama feels about her babies, especially on the the anniversary of the day that she suffered out of love to bring them into the world. (But, who's counting those 11.5794 unmedicated hours, right?)

Really, God has a great purpose for every single baby that is born into this world.  And, it is such a joy to see that purpose evolve in every single one of our children.

 

Sitting outside after the Chicago Marathon Expo, soaking in the sun.  This is his famous smile, the one that says, "there is so much in this life to be happy about."

Our son Andrew's birthday was last Sunday, the day we were in Chicago for the marathon.  It's impossible that he is already a teenager! When I signed up for the race, I didn't even look at the date. it was to be held. {I confess, it was a total, "I'm gonna tell my 40th birthday where to stick it!" spontaneous maneuver. *hangs head*}

So, when I received the e-mail that my name had been selected from the lottery, I had to do a double take when I read the bold-type date: October 11.  Because the race would fall on the same day as Andrew's birthday, I decided that I would defer and choose a different race to run.

But, when I announced my decision to the family, Andrew was the first person to speak up in disagreement, "Just do it, Mom! Go for it!"  It was then that we decided to take him (and Benedict) with us to the race.

When the birthday/race day arrived, I had to be up at 5 a.m. to eat and get to the starting line, so our traditional celebratory birthday breakfast had to be postponed until next year. Thankfully, Dad came to the rescue and found a donut shop just up the street from the hotel.  I received a text at the starting line with a photo of the boys stuffing their faces with bacon maple pecan caramel long johns. Hello!! I texted back, you may meet me at the finish with one of those, please!

To make the morning even more adventurous for Andrew, Steve rented bicycles for them to cruise around on through Chicago to get to the various points where they wanted to cheer for me.  There was an estimated 1.2 million spectators cheering on 45,000 runners, so I consider it Providence that I was able to catch my crew along the route several times.

At mile eight I was able to shimmy through the pack of runners over to where Steve and the boys were standing and give Andrew a big sweaty birthday bear hug.  I was just so overjoyed to see their beautiful faces that I couldn't help shouting over and over, "Happy Birthday, Andrew!"

I could hear the crowd around him congratulating him as well while patting his back and giving him high fives. The look of joy on his face was imprinted in my mind over the next 18 miles.

I literally could not wait to get to the finish line so that I could hug Andrew again, and join the rest of the crew in all of the birthday fun.  The journey to the finish line, however was a little delayed (more on that tomorrow), and I felt terrible that they had to wait on me to finish.

After we finally exited the park, we had a mile long walk back to the hotel.  Along the way, we passed a HUGE candy store called Dylan's Candy Bar.  Since we love not having dental insurance, why not buy some more cavities??!!  Truly we had never seen any store like it.  Three unbelievable stories of countless confections.  The boys freaked out a little when I told them they could fill up a bag of whatever they wanted.  People stared.  It was fun. Even Steve and I had fun walking (limping)  around looking at all of the lovely sweets.

Back at the hotel, we quickly threw our things together, I took my normal 3.2 minute shower so that could jet out the door to find a spot for lunch before cruising to the airport.

The rest of the day wasn't very birthday-ish.  Returning the rental car, navigating through the mass of people at O'hare and flying home late wasn't exactly Andrew's idea of a birthday finale.

Yet, he never once complained.  He was thankful for everything at all times, and was especially happy to have had the experience of seeing the beautiful city of Chicago.  But, my heart wasn't satisfied.  I knew that once we arrived home, the boys would help me plan something special for Andrew, and they did.

The next day, Andrew went to school and football practice.  While he was away, we set a nice table, put on our aprons and made his favorite meal - fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn and biscuits with honey butter.   It's the "nothing green" meal, that all of the boys love, but I rarely make it, because it takes so much time and turns my kitchen into a grease pit.

For him, it was totally worth it.

I knew that I would not have time to bake a cake on top of all of the craziness, so George had the fantastic idea of getting Andrew a Dairy Queen cake.  Andrew would eat a carton of ice-cream every day if I would let him!  So, this was perfect.

Turn it up, fam! Sing that Happy Birthday song like ya mean it!

Concentrating on the wish.  He let Charlie blow out all of the candles except for one.

When he walked in the door after practice, seeing the dinner table festooned with steaming dishes of his favorites and piles of gifts the boys had thought out just for him, he was over the moon.

Shopping for Andrew for any occasion is difficult, because he never wants for or asks for anything.  He is a very content soul.  One day I saw him looking at military style watches on Amazon, and I knew that would make a perfect gift for him.  When he opened it, you would have thought we gave him the rarest treasure in the world.

There is a wonderful quality in Andrew that others are naturally drawn to.  He is very kind and has a great sense of humor.  If I were to ask each one of our boys who there favorite brother is, every single one of them would say Andrew.

Henry went through a phase were he was afraid to sleep downstairs, even though he shares a room with George.  We would often find him sleeping bundled up in blankets on the floor next to Andrew's bed.  He told us that he feels safe with Andrew.  I will always remember that.

I have missed having him here as a part of our homeschool something fierce, but when I hear of the good that he is doing at school, that he is reaching out to the other students and caring for them, and that he is enjoying their friendship in return so very much, my heart cannot help but rejoice.

I have always said, and firmly believe, that our children are here to make us better.  Of course, that can be explained by the mere fact that children require us to sacrifice and love in ways that test our faith and strength.  But, it can also be explained by the witness of their purity, their goodness, and the beauty of their souls, shining out for us to see and embrace every day.  They challenge us to be better people by the very example of their life - this is God in them.

God has a great purpose for Andrew, and it is with hope that we look forward to that purpose being revealed to us, one birthday at a time.

The Epic Silly String Ambush & Other Jewels From the Mercy Baby's Birthday

On Sunday we celebrated Henry's 8th birthday. I will always and forever look at Henry and see him as my mercy baby.  The night before I was to be induced (all of my babies insist on being fashionably late) Steve and I went to the adoration chapel to pray.

Nearly two weeks overdue, I was exhausted and so very ready to be done with pregnancy, but I did not want to be induced.

I knelt down, and with absolute abandon, begged God for the mercy of a short labor, and that my labor would begin naturally.  Three hours, I told Him, I can handle three hours, but nothing more. I'm not sure why I was so specific about the three hours. I suppose sometimes we pray for certain things without knowing exactly why.  We just pray.  And hope. And wait.

I was due to be induced at 6:00 a.m. the next morning, and at 5:00 a.m. set out to walk the dark halls of the hospital with my rosary and a lot of determination.  After about thirty minutes of shuffling, the contractions began.

Exactly three hours later Henry was born.  When the nurse announced the time of birth, I burst into tears.  I was already emotional at the sight of my sweet miracle, but when I realized it had all happened in exactly three hours, I began to sob.

I hadn't told a single soul about my prayers, even Steve didn't know. After I explained everything to him, we were both overwhelmed with emotion.

It was such a joyful time. I will never, ever forget the way in which I experienced God's mercy and love that day!

Henry's happy entrance into the world was just a preview of what was to come. He brings so much life and enthusiasm to our family.  Every day he hugs me several times, and often throughout the day, we will hear him laughing out loud at something or someone he thinks is terribly funny.  His laugh is incredibly contagious!

The look of total surprise on his face with every single gift had us all in stitches!

Birthdays are becoming a really big deal around here. The boys spend a lot of time planning and thinking about what they want to do for the special person weeks in advance.  I love the way they plan "secret" meetings with me to see when I might be able to take them shopping.  The older boys like to order gifts from Amazon, and wait in great anticipation for those gifts to arrive.

I gotta be honest, they make birthdays so great for each other, it really takes the pressure off of the parents!

Even better than the gifts the boys give each other are the pranks they come up with. I really love this aspect of mothering boys.  They have taught me a lot about the way boys relate to each other and how important their crazy ways of interacting are for building relationships.

Being ornery and teasing is one way that boys bond, and I love watching them grow closer with every hilarious stunt!

Andrew's idea to do a silly string ambush on Henry went over famously with the brothers. After Mass Steve lured Henry outside with his eyes closed, telling him that one of his gifts was waiting for him in the back yard. He put a silly string can in Henry's hand, and told him it was his "weapon of defense."

The boys darted out from under the deck and the battle was on! For three minutes everyone went absolutely wild, and then the string ran out. But, oh, what a grand three minutes it was!

They are already starting to scheme an even better plan for Andrew's birthday, which is coming up soon.

After the silly string war, Steve fulfilled Henry's birthday wish by taking him golfing for the afternoon.  Golfing is usually an activity reserved for the older boys, so it meant a lot to Henry to be able to have that special time with dad.

Last, but not least, there was pizza for supper and birthday cake.  I really like how dark this photo is, because that football cake, which was supposed to be "easy," didn't turn out so hot.  But put enough chocolate butter cream frosting on anything, and nobody cares what it looks like, right?

It's so easy, in the day-to-day happenings of ordinary life, to forget about the ways God answers our prayers, whether they be big or small.  But as long as I live, Henry will forever be my mercy baby, a flesh and blood reminder of God's gift to me eight years ago.

Joseph William Karol Turns One! Brotherly Love and Birthday Photos Abound

"How can there be to many children? 

That's like saying there are too many flowers." 

- Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Last Friday our youngest son, Joseph, turned one.  My heart simply could not accept how quickly this year has passed.  Just yesterday I was begging my ten day overdue belly to get busy! Despite the intensity of life that comes with raising six young boys, like clockwork, when that first birthday arrives so does the crazy intense longing for another baby. (Go ahead, call me coo-coo.) It's just automatic.  I can't help it!

Steve and I have always been open to life, and the Lord knows that if it were up to us, we would have ten boys by now.  But, He is the Creator and Crafter of our family, and so six it is! (Until we adopt those twin girls I've been trying to convince my husband we have plenty of room for!)

Anyway, for days leading up to Joseph's birthday, there was a great deal of excitement in our house. Everyone wanted to know what kind of cake I was going to make, if we were going to have a party, and they all took turns exclaiming to Joey, "You're going to be one year old on Friday!"

When the big day finally arrived, the great enthusiasm and love that the boys showered over Joseph was so touching, I cannot describe it. The older boys were all awake bright and early to help Steve work to get the combine ready for wheat harvest.  While they waited for me to prepare their sack lunches, they sat quietly in the living room listening for Joey's little voice to signal that he was awake.

Goooooood Morning!! Come and get me!!!

Gosh, guys. It's just my first birthday, no biggie, really.

Everyone dashed in to hug and kiss him and to wish him happy birthday.  It was a sweet sort of chaos.  I wish I could bottle up all of their giggling and hugging and endearing words.  Those are sounds I don't ever want to forget.

Of course our boys have their fair share of fighting and selfishness, but that's all on the surface of learning and growing up in a family of boys.  Beneath it all is an beautifully intense love for one another.  I see this love expressed in so many wonderful ways between each of them every day. The love was especially visible on Joseph's birthday.

Despite the obligations of the day, when possible, all of our attention was on Joseph.  I, especially, found myself just watching him, noticing every little distinction that makes him so unique, so precious - his wispy curls, his long lashes, his big blue eyes, his many expressions, the way he says "HI!" so emphatically when I walk in the room.

The boys will never know how emotional their birthdays are for me.  Behind the smiles and celebration my heart is completely engulfed in waves of love, joy, gratitude, wonder, and admiration, and the exhaustion I feel intensifies all of those emotions immensely. 

I suppose those emotions come from a combination of wanting time to slow down and also knowing that each child we've been blessed with is such a gift, such a mercy. Children save us from ourselves.  I've written before about how babies make us better.  Because, they really do.  

They uproot us from all our selfishness and attachment to things that don't matter and reward our self-gift with an all consuming love, adoration, and cuteness that makes us forget who we used to be. They make us face our weaknesses and our faults and leave us longing to be better, to be more, to be different, and that often very uncomfortable change requires a total reliance upon God's mercy and grace.

Early that day, I had hoped to dress Joseph up in his Wranglers and boots and take him to a special spot just outside of town that I thought would be the perfect place for his one year photo session, but it was so hot outside, I knew he would be miserable. Another day, another time.

After supper, the boys offered to take care of the dishes so that Steve and I could have some one-on-one time with Joseph outside.  He is taking his first steps, so it was the perfect time to snap a few (hundred) photos!  

Are you ready dad? I'm gonna show you my slider, then my curve, then my fastball!

 Um, guys, have you seen my baseball anywhere? Anyone, anyone??

 George noticed how much Joey wanted to take a turn on the slide....

So, he happily made his birthday wish come true. 

When it came time for the cake, Joseph was not sure what to think. The boys, however, were about to burst with excitement, because they could not believe that I was going to let Joseph actually eat his very own piece. Mom! It has sugar in it! Sugar is bad for Joey! Are you sure he should eat it??

First taste....

Mmmmmm!!!

After the cake was devoured, Charlie volunteered to "bathe" Joseph in the baby pool.  Hold still, Jophis, I'm going to wash the frosting out of your hair with this ice cold bucket of water.

Really, how can there ever be too many of these precious ones???

Because Sometimes an Illness is the Very Best Reason to Party -Unfolding the Story of Steve's Struggle With Lyme Disease

The week before Thanksgiving I (with the help of many generous souls) threw a dandy of a surprise party for my husband, Steve, in honor of his 40th birthday.

Throwing parties is not one of my gifts. Just thinking about it makes me sweat profusely with stress. But, with a lot of help, I mean a lot, we did it, and it was awesome! I wanted to take many more pics of the day we spent cooking and decorating in preparation for the festivities, but we were all running around like crazy trying to pull everything together, so I had very little time to get behind the lens.

Steve's sister, Jennifer, and her daughter Brianna worked their magic in the kitchen.  Bri is the baby-sitter extraordinaire.  Joey is in love with her.  Deep, deep love.

My friend, Susan, who happens to be the amazing mother of nine precious souls (so you know she has tons of free time) came to help me decorate for the party. She possesses the rare, yet precious, talent of figuring out how to unravel a mess of tangled balloons!

Both my mom and Steve's mom did SO MUCH to make all of the carefully thought out plans a reality.  They seriously moved at lightening speed, and I wish I had photo evidence of all their generosity and effort!

(Source for the inspiration for the table centerpieces)

My goal was to keep the decorations masculine yet simple, but ya'll know that with Pinterest, anything that looks simple is never really simple. Ahem.

My mom was incredible during the weekend of the party. She was right beside me all weekend helping at home with the kids and the entire day during the set-up process being much more attentive to the little special details that I didn't have the time or energy to focus on.

Steve's mom generously gave me her time and assistance for two solid months making phone calls, digging up pictures, advising, watching kiddos, running errands. It was a gift to bring the event together for her son, whom we both love so much.  I was really touched that her entire family was able to be at the party!

Steve with two of his best college buddies from Farmhouse fraternity, Steve and Scott.

One of the most fun decorations we put together was a big 40 that we covered with photos from Steve's life from birth to present.  Watching guests gather around the pics to catch a glimpse of his life was such a treat.

A supremely talented friend from our parish agreed to make Steve's birthday cake.  She did an amazing job, didn't she?? She not only made the cake for Steve, she gave it to him as a gift!

Friends came from far and wide, and those who couldn't come sent loving messages and sincere wishes for fun - and fun did we have!

Our friend, Sara, came from out West and, let me tell you, she was the life of the party!

Stephi and Joe were my picture takers - without them this would be a pictureless post!

Over one hundred people came to celebrate with my guy.  He was truly touched by all of the sacrifices and efforts that so many people made in order to be there with him that night.

Our amazing friends, J.P. and Elizabeth traveled from KC for the party!

These two...oh, my gosh, these two!! They kept us on our toes all night, and we were so happy that they made the long drive to spend the evening (and early morning *eek!*) with us!

Several of Steve's fraternity brothers and their beautiful wives were able to make it to the party. We are so blessed to have been able to stay connected with them over the years since graduating from KSU. His brother, Scott, agreed to give a toast, and it was one that we will never forget.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room as Steve's dad also shared a toast. At least my eyes weren't dry, but that's because crying is something I'm really good at. I should be in a sad movie, because I can cry on cue.

Watching our parents dance together is such a supreme joy!

Annie Up = Most awesome party band evah!

We ate, drank and danced - yep, I hired a band, and they were crazy good! Steve and I have always loved to dance.  We secretly dream of being wedding crashers. (Did I just admit that??) Getting a wedding invite in the mail, especially if the wedding festivities include dancing, is like the supreme gift.  Hiring a band for the party was the easiest part of the surprise planning.

Joey was an absolute trooper. He enjoyed being passed around between the guests, adorned with hugs and smooches, and even twirled around on the dance floor a time or two!

So how did all this craziness come to be?? Last fall, when I realized Steve would be turning forty in December, I knew that I wanted to do something really special, not just because he would be reaching one of those landmark birthdays, but for reasons much bigger than that....

It was almost exactly one year ago when, on an ordinary afternoon of school and chores, I found my husband, whom I thought was in his office fielding business calls, on the bathroom floor completely overcome with uncontrollable anxiety. I immediately dropped to my knees, reaching out to wrap my arms around the broken man who fought desperately to hide his swollen tear-filled eyes behind the cover of calloused hands.

I had hoped and prayed that this day would never come.  Just six months earlier, Steve began experiencing sensations of numbness and tingling in his hands and occasionally his feet.  The symptoms were sporadic, so we both gave it little attention until one day he came home from work bothered by uncontrollable muscle twitches on the backs of his legs, and a disturbing inablity to concentrate or focus on daily tasks.

I'll never forget the look in his eyes as he explained to me how bothersome the twitching and foggy brain symptoms were.  It was a look of both worry and fear.  That day was the beginning of a long and arduous process of researching illnesses that might be associated with Steve's symptoms. Eventually, we narrowed the symptoms down to what we believed could be Multiple Sclerosis, ALS or Neurological Lyme Disease.

After weeks of appointments, phone calls, more research and tests, Steve was given the Lyme diagnosis.

The past few months have been filled with many ups and downs physically, mentally, and emotionally for my love.  At times it feels as though he is adjusting well to this new way of life, a life that requires Steve (and myself) to be much more attentive than before the diagnosis to his day-to-day habits that affect his health. Being attentive to a healthy diet, regular exercise, proper rest, remembering medications and supplements, tracking and journaling symptoms, and embracing the reality of physical limitations that were simply never there before has been an adjustment for everyone.

Once we put a treatment plan in place (last winter), Steve began to experience some relief from his symptoms, so we were very encouraged and felt as though we were on the right track with regards to his medical protocol.  Unfortunately, late last summer, some of Steve's symptoms began to escalate, and new ones popped up with a vengeance. He began experiencing terrible sensations of pulsating frequencies in his head, especially at night time, which often left him completely unable to sleep. Naturally, his ability to concentrate, to remember the names of friends and family, or even simple objects became terribly difficult.

He was exhausted and worried that these new symptoms the Lyme was presenting would not be remedied and could even get worse.  The worry was nearly consuming.  Nothing can prepare you, as a wife and mother, for the great amount of strength and fortitude required to truly care for a sick spouse, and manage the needs and lives of all the little ones too.

If you are reading this and have dedicated your life to caring for a sick child, spouse, parent or friend, I wish I could reach out and embrace you this very moment.  I offer you my deepest empathy. Words cannot possibly describe the weight that presses upon the care-taker's heart, and I know you understand what I am saying and feeling.

Steve's doctor, who was very concerned with his new set of symptoms, recommended that he begin testing for Multiple Sclerosis. Many of the symptoms that Lyme disease can present are similar to symptoms for M.S., Fibromyalgia, Parkinson's, ALS, and a number of other neurological diseases, which is why those very illnesses are often misdiagnosed.  The doctors believe a patient has M.S. or some other neurological disease, but he or she actually has Lyme disease.

The days of waiting for his testing to begin were filled with terrible anxiety for Steve.  He couldn't help but worry about what the future held for him as the provider and protector of our family.  To say that my heart was completely broken for him is an understatement.  I simply cannot explain the intensity of my desire to take away all of the pain and worry from him.

I've never prayed as hard as I did during those weeks when Steve was suffering most.  It's funny, but I've never been one to enjoy getting up at night with our babies for multiple feedings, but I am truly thankful that Joseph has been waking often in the night to nurse, because I want to be up, ready to help Steve in case he cannott sleep and, if nothing else, just to pray over him again and again and again.

When Steve's doctor encouraged him to begin testing for M.S., I knew right then and there, that I wanted to do something significant to celebrate his upcoming birthday.  At the present time, he still possessed a good amount of physical strength and mobility and was trying to carry on through the days as normal as possible.

I couldn't help but think that a year from now, the picture of life could look quite different than the present.  Would he be confined to bed or to a wheelchair?  Would it be necessary to send the boys to school so that I could dedicate myself to caring for Steve full time?

These were all frightening questions, yet very strong possibilities that we wrestled with day after day as we waited for Steve's test results.  During the wait, I decided to move forward with my idea to host a party.  I booked a band, locked in a great venue, and gathered Steve's family together to see if they would join me in the planning and execution of the event.

Just days after diving into the party plans, I received a call from a very emotional and relieved husband who called to share the wonderful news that the results of his M.S. tests were negative. I cannot tell you what an enormous relief this was to both of us!  Now the question was, what can we do to step up his treatment of the Lyme?

Everyday we are devoted to researching possibilities and opportunities for potential treatments of the disease. Steve's symptoms continue to change from week to week and their frequency and severity is often unpredictable, which makes understanding the disease a monumental task.

To watch someone you love so much, someone who has always been in perfect health, suffer so greatly is a mighty cross to bear.  And, yet, as I say that, I can also speak with complete confidence that Lyme disease is not something that has happened to Steve, but rather something that has happened for him.  Our crosses are often a gift, a mercy meant to bear a particular fruit in our lives if we are willing to offer ourselves unreservedly to the Father, trusting in his great plan and purpose.

We pray daily for Steve's healing, but we pray even more that he might be a docile and loving servant of the Lord, submitting himself freely to accept with humility the greatest good that can possibly come of all of this.  If it be healing than praise the Lord, and if it be to suffer the terrible pains of mind and body as well as the physical limitations that the Lyme brings, then Praise Him Still.

Looking back, I'm truly happy that I decided to surprise Steve on his 40th.  There's something so beautiful about friends and family coming together for a celebration.  I believe that celebrations can open our eyes to glimpses of heaven, the supreme eternal party, and that glimpse has the power to infuse a deeper sense of hope and encouragement into the heavy hearted, the broken body, the tired soul.

I know that's exactly what the surprise party did for Steve (and for me as well).

If you could be so kind as to keep Steve in your prayers, I will be eternally grateful.  We are thankful for your friendship and support, and promise to keep you posted on any new developments concerning Steve's condition.