Memories for Henry of Your First Holy Communion

Henry is the fourth child in our family to receive his first Holy Communion.  Because we homeschool, it is up to Steve and I to prepare him well for this beautiful sacrament. We used many of the same materials (scripture, this book, this one, and this one, too), engaged in daily conversations about the Eucharist, and prayed with him as we did when preparing his older brothers.

But, Henry's preparation was different from the others in the sense that, as his parents, our own personal relationship with the sacrament has deepened significantly over the past two years since Steve has been ill.  

It's a difficult thing to grasp, the mystery, the gift, the glory of the Eucharist and how it is all charged with unfathomable graces, graces steeped in the sacrificial love of the cross.  For Steve and I, the cross of Lyme disease and mold toxicity has drawn us in more deeply to this mystery, and our utter dependence upon the graces we receive from the Eucharist naturally shape the way in which we approach the formation of our children.

As Henry grows and matures into manhood, perhaps he will remember very little of the time we spent preparing him for this spiritual milestone.  But I do hope, with all my heart, that what we have taught him is not limited to our time of study together, but that his knowledge flourishes and takes root deep in his soul through a real and continual example of love and devotion to the sacrament by his father and I as well as his older siblings.

Memories For Henry of Your First Holy Communion...

For weeks leading up to your special day, you continually asked, "How many days until I get to receive Jesus?" I loved your great anticipation and awareness of what was to come.

{Thank you to my friend, Kristen, for the great photos!}

Tradition is very important to our family, and one tradition that began with your brother, Benedict, was that all of the boys in our family would wear the same attire for your 1st Communions, the necktie being the most important.  Unfortunately, the red striped First Communion tie got mixed in with the clothes that were laundered during our mold remediation and was ruined. You were a great sport about it, though, and did not complain about having to wear something different.

This picture of you with Fr. Aaron is great! He is an incredible priest, and you admire him very much. I have a feeling you will always remember Father and the great enthusiasm he has for our Catholic faith. He is a great blessing to our family and to our parish!

{Easy Printable Banner Letters}

On your special day, I woke up very early to decorate the house and to prepare the brunch before Mass.  Before the sun was up, I heard the faint sound of footsteps on the stairway carpet and I knew, without a doubt, that it was you who would be the first to greet me that morning.  You were so eager to admire all of the decorations and to get dressed in your special attire.

Because Holy Mass is early at our parish, we decided to host a celebratory brunch afterward instead of waiting until lunch.  You helped me plan the menu: 

Egg & Mushroom Kielbasa Casserole

Bacon

Cinnamon Rolls

Cranberry Orange Scones

Mini Lemon Poppyseed Muffins

Fruit Platter

Assorted Juices & Coffee

{Recipe Links}

When I asked you what you would like for me to bake, you chose three things (THREE! Really??), and I just couldn't say no to your innocent, enthusiastic request. 

{We decided to make candy-dipped pretzels instead of a traditional cake.}

You even helped me do all of the shopping earlier that week, and we stayed up on Friday night making your party favors while watching the Royals beat the Twins.  We had so much fun!

You and your brothers declared the brunch to be a feast, and stuffed yourselves with multiple helpings of everything.  Watching you guys eat with such gusto is something I will never grow tired of.

Thankfully the weather was so nice out that day that you were all able to jump off all of the sugar on the basketball court and trampoline.  Even Rose thought she was a part of the party!

We don't have very many pictures of you with your Godparents, Uncle Doug and Aunt Jen, so this one is a treasure.  They gave you the chalice tie clip that you proudly wore to Holy Mass that day.

George has this very saint book and since you are always asking him if you may look at it, your dad and I thought you might enjoy having a copy of your own.  The stories and illustrations in it are very beautiful.

Granny and Grandpa gave you a four-way medal, which included a description of what each symbol on the medal means. You wear it every day with the St. Henry medal we gave to you for your first reconciliation.

A good friend of mine suggested that we give you this Lego representation of the Mass, and I'm so glad that we did!  You put it together right away, and it really is a fun memory of your reception of the sacrament.  You can also use it to teach your younger brothers about the Mass.

Because the third name we chose for you is Augustine, you and I often talk about St. Augustine and his incredible conversion story.  I know that at such a young age this quote from his writings is too deep for you to grasp, but I hope that one day (perhaps at your confirmation?) we can return to it and converse at greater length his inspiring words on the Eucharist:

"The Body of Christ" you are told, and you answer, "Amen."  Be members then of the Body of Christ that your Amen may be true.  Why is this mystery accomplished with bread?  We shall say nothing of our own about it, rather let us hear the Apostle, who speaking of this sacrament say: "We, being many, are one body, one bread." Understand and rejoice.  Unity, devotion, charity!  

One bread: and what is this one bread?  One body made up of many.  Consider that the bread is not made of one grain alone, but of many.  During the time of exorcism, you were, so to say, in the mill. At baptism you were wetted with water.  Then, the Holy Spirit came into you like the fire which bakes the dough.  Be then what you see and receive what you are.

Now for the chalice, my brethren, remember how wine is made.  Many grapes hang on the bunch, but the liquid which runs out of them mingles together in unity.  So has the Lord willed that we should belong to him and he has consecrated on his altar the mystery of our peace and unity."

{Excerpt taken from Catholicism - Christ and the Common Destiny of Man by Heri De Lubac}

The Epic Silly String Ambush & Other Jewels From the Mercy Baby's Birthday

On Sunday we celebrated Henry's 8th birthday. I will always and forever look at Henry and see him as my mercy baby.  The night before I was to be induced (all of my babies insist on being fashionably late) Steve and I went to the adoration chapel to pray.

Nearly two weeks overdue, I was exhausted and so very ready to be done with pregnancy, but I did not want to be induced.

I knelt down, and with absolute abandon, begged God for the mercy of a short labor, and that my labor would begin naturally.  Three hours, I told Him, I can handle three hours, but nothing more. I'm not sure why I was so specific about the three hours. I suppose sometimes we pray for certain things without knowing exactly why.  We just pray.  And hope. And wait.

I was due to be induced at 6:00 a.m. the next morning, and at 5:00 a.m. set out to walk the dark halls of the hospital with my rosary and a lot of determination.  After about thirty minutes of shuffling, the contractions began.

Exactly three hours later Henry was born.  When the nurse announced the time of birth, I burst into tears.  I was already emotional at the sight of my sweet miracle, but when I realized it had all happened in exactly three hours, I began to sob.

I hadn't told a single soul about my prayers, even Steve didn't know. After I explained everything to him, we were both overwhelmed with emotion.

It was such a joyful time. I will never, ever forget the way in which I experienced God's mercy and love that day!

Henry's happy entrance into the world was just a preview of what was to come. He brings so much life and enthusiasm to our family.  Every day he hugs me several times, and often throughout the day, we will hear him laughing out loud at something or someone he thinks is terribly funny.  His laugh is incredibly contagious!

The look of total surprise on his face with every single gift had us all in stitches!

Birthdays are becoming a really big deal around here. The boys spend a lot of time planning and thinking about what they want to do for the special person weeks in advance.  I love the way they plan "secret" meetings with me to see when I might be able to take them shopping.  The older boys like to order gifts from Amazon, and wait in great anticipation for those gifts to arrive.

I gotta be honest, they make birthdays so great for each other, it really takes the pressure off of the parents!

Even better than the gifts the boys give each other are the pranks they come up with. I really love this aspect of mothering boys.  They have taught me a lot about the way boys relate to each other and how important their crazy ways of interacting are for building relationships.

Being ornery and teasing is one way that boys bond, and I love watching them grow closer with every hilarious stunt!

Andrew's idea to do a silly string ambush on Henry went over famously with the brothers. After Mass Steve lured Henry outside with his eyes closed, telling him that one of his gifts was waiting for him in the back yard. He put a silly string can in Henry's hand, and told him it was his "weapon of defense."

The boys darted out from under the deck and the battle was on! For three minutes everyone went absolutely wild, and then the string ran out. But, oh, what a grand three minutes it was!

They are already starting to scheme an even better plan for Andrew's birthday, which is coming up soon.

After the silly string war, Steve fulfilled Henry's birthday wish by taking him golfing for the afternoon.  Golfing is usually an activity reserved for the older boys, so it meant a lot to Henry to be able to have that special time with dad.

Last, but not least, there was pizza for supper and birthday cake.  I really like how dark this photo is, because that football cake, which was supposed to be "easy," didn't turn out so hot.  But put enough chocolate butter cream frosting on anything, and nobody cares what it looks like, right?

It's so easy, in the day-to-day happenings of ordinary life, to forget about the ways God answers our prayers, whether they be big or small.  But as long as I live, Henry will forever be my mercy baby, a flesh and blood reminder of God's gift to me eight years ago.

The GREAT BIG Surprise on Henry's Birthday and How My Boys Came to My Rescue

When I started blogging a few years ago, I really just wanted to chronicle the life of our family, especially our children, as best as I could, so that I could share our happenings with family and friends who lived far away.  The blog has become our virtual scrapbook.  Sometimes I'll find the boys scrolling back through old posts, reminiscing together, their favorite stories being of sporting events and birthdays, so writing about those two things is really important to me.

I love our birthday traditions, which always include birthday breakfast and a homemade cake of the special boy's choosing.  It's so much fun for all of us to celebrate the life of the honored person for an entire day, and while we don't throw big themed parties with pin-worthy goodies, we try our best to make the day as special as possible for the birthday boy.

A couple of weeks ago our son, Henry, turned 7 and, because of a series of events and personal struggles I had faced throughout the week leading up to his birthday, I was truly unprepared for his big day.

I mean it when I say that I really had NOTHING ready - no gifts, no cake, no ingredients for a family dinner - nothing.  Every attempt I made to shop and plan seemed to be snatched up by shuttling children to football and piano lessons or trying my level best not to drown in this new homeschool program we're navigating, then there was a day given to attend my cousin's funeral, and most of all our poor little Joseph, who is suffering from the inner workings of a tooth trying to break free, needing to be held all of the time.

I know deep down that for every mother, birthdays are not about the things, the cake, the presents, the parties, but they are about what those things collectively represent, and that is the LOVE we have for our child. I cannot help but want to wrap all of that love up into something wonderful that says, "Hey you! Do you know how special you are? Do you know how you have changed my life and made it more beautiful than I could ever imagine??"

The week slipped away from me, and I soon found myself at Friday, the night before Henry's birthday, slumped over in exhaustion and frustration at the supper table wondering what I was going to do to make tomorrow special for him.

I've procrastinated from writing about his birthday, because my heart is still a bit guilt-weary over my lack of preparedness for Henry's day.  But, after pondering it all in my heart for the past couple of weeks, I believe that God is calling me to a particular conviction of heart, that being that I surrender the idealistic vision of motherhood that I have set for myself. Because, in the surrender and acceptance of my limitations, other individuals, namely my children, can help, can share, can shine.

This letting go is not a giving up, but rather it's letting others in, those who may benefit from being allowed the opportunity to love, to act virtuously, to discover strengths and gifts they didn't know they had, and to feel places in their heart that they were unaware of being stretched with generosity.

When I post about the boys' birthdays, I try to write in detail all of the things I want to remember from their special day.  This year, on Henry's birthday, I thought everything was going to be an utter failure because I had not done all of the things I usually do for birthdays.

{Thanks to my friend, Mary, for sharing this with me so many years ago!}

But, to my wonderful surprise, it was better than anything I could have planned, a birthday I hope never to forget, because it involved all of the boys in such a beautiful way.  I couldn't see it then, because I was so blinded by my own unwillingness to look past what I wasn't able to do for my son, but it was my very own limitations that allowed the boys to step in and shine, to share, to love, to give, and that is something my perfect cake or party or diner could never replace.

The night before Henry's big day, Steve came upstairs after tucking the boys in and said to me, You're not going to believe this, honey, but Ben and Andrew actually want to pool their savings together to buy Henry a go-cart.

Wait.  What??

He continued, Ben has a classmate who is selling his mini go-cart.  It's used and needs some work, but they really want to buy it for him.

I didn't know what to say.  I knew Henry would love such a gift.  And, I knew that their generosity would rescue me from a late night trip to town in search of something I could only hope Henry would enjoy.

The next morning, everyone was up early, eager to dive into the birthday breakfast traditions.  I was so busy scurrying about the kitchen, I had hardly noticed the two gifts that were thoughtfully placed by the "You Are Special plate" just for Henry.

As we ate, I couldn't stop wondering where the gifts came from and who had placed them there. Even though I usually take the boys shopping so that they can each buy something small for the birthday boy, I believe that they saw how overwhelmed I was last week and really wanted to step in on their own and help.

When it came time for Henry to open his presents, the first surprise was from George.  Earlier in the week he had set out for the library on his bicycle but, along the way, made a detour to the local gas station to buy Henry a pop and some candy! I had no idea!

The second gift was from Andrew, who has a wonderful collection of Hot Wheels, something Henry admires very much.  Andrew bought Henry is own Hot Wheels case and a few cars to go inside, so that he can begin his own collection.  The two of them have a very special bond, and seeing Henry's joyful expression upon receiving Andrew's gift was priceless.

After birthday breakfast, Benedict snuck up behind Henry and blindfolded him announcing that he had one more surprise for him. As Ben led his little brother outside, we all gathered around anticipating Henry's reaction to his BIG gift.

I think the entire neighborhood could hear him squealing with delight! 

While buying the go-cart was a truly generous gift on the part of Ben and Andrew, the greater sacrifice for those big brothers was one of pride. They have been asking Steve and me for the very same gift ever since they were Henry's age, and we've always said no.  They are saving every penny for a four-wheeler to share, but were willing to give up a chunk of their savings so that a younger brother could receive something that they themselves had only wished for.

Steve and I were incredibly touched by their love. Witnessing Ben and Andrew's delight in surprising Henry with such an amazing gift is something I will never forget.

The boys spent the rest of the morning tinkering around on the new "toy," and took turns driving it around the neighborhood.  I had hoped to get Henry's cake baked before we had to leave for Andrew's football game, but Joey and his swollen gums kept me out of the kitchen.

After the game, Steve must have felt, through my silence, all the disappointment stirring inside of me. (You know, Mom guilt, it's the very worst kind.) He gently took my hand and said, "You're a great mom, Honey, and today has been a great day. Don't worry, Henry is very happy."

So, I set my expectations free.  I let the presents and the party and the cake and the dinner all go.  We went out for burgers with Steve's family that night and, in lieu of a cake, Steve took Henry to a local bakery and let him pick out a cupcake for everyone to enjoy after supper.  He loved it.

After supper my birthday boy came came around the table to sit on my lap.  Holding him close made me feel so much better.  I whipsered in his ear, "I'm sorry I didn't get your special cake made." He turned around, put his nose up to mine and said, "That's okay, Mom, you can just bake me a cake anytime you want, and I'll love it, because your cakes are the best!"

{Sigh.}

Darby Does It! - The Sweet Rewards of Learning to Read

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Teaching our sons to read has been one of the greatest pleasures, for me, as a homeschool parent. Each boy has learned at a different pace, some taking an interest in reading and accelerating faster than others, and that's okay with us, as long as they each just keep trying. Instilling in them a life-long passion and joy for great literature is a top homeschooling goal, and so far - thankfully - the older three love to read. The absence of video games and limits on television in the home have naturally helped discovering great books to become the leisure of choice.

Henry, however, is not so fond of school, and not so fond of reading.  Like most boys he would much rather be lassoing the table legs in the kitchen (or a human's legs, whichever is closer) with anything that resembles a rope, or trying to ride Rose, our wonderfully docile retriever, around the yard than pursuing academics. School-schmool.  I'm going to write to those Baby Einstein people and ask for a refund.

After months of applying various methods (begging, threatening and faking supreme disappointment are amongst my favorite) to get him to read, I finally gave in to incentives.

I really dislike incentives very, very much. Mostly because, in this case, I had to climb down off of my idealistic motivational, inspirational high horse and submit to the reality that Darby's just not buying into my joy of reading campaign speeches, and that sometimes dangling a prize, in this case a bag of sugar, in front of my son's nose is the only way to get him to march on.

Henry has quite a sweet tooth, and since I'm known as the sugar Nazi around here, promising anything sweet was one sure-fire way to motivate a child who's had to settle for raisins as a sub for candy his entire six years of life.

Sometime back in February, I promised Henry that he and I would walk to the local gas station, Country Acres, and he could pick out a snack and a drink IF he finished reading the first box of Bob Books.  I saw his eyes glaze over like frosting on donuts fresh from the oven.  And, that was all it took to get his reading wheels spinning!

Unfortunately, the wheels of progress were brought to a screeching halt when the Bob Books mysteriously went missing for about a month.  And, thanks to my bright idea to incentivize, he refused to read anything else. No Bobbo, no reado.  Uugh.  Miraculously, the little blue box reappeared and Henry zipped through all twelve books like lightening.

When the day came for us to make our trip to Country Acres, Henry was giddy with delight.  He went straight to the candy isle, where there were several teenagers who were tickled at the way Henry kept asking me what every little confection and candy bar was, what it tasted like.  "Will I like it?" he would ask innocently while holding up a giant box of Mike 'n Ike's for me to see.

After a couple of minutes of contemplating all of the options, his focus narrowed in on a huge package of sour gummy worms.  I agreed to buy them, but only if he promised to share them with his brothers (who would be thrilled to pieces after being doubly dessert deprived this Lent).

Just in case the bag of hyperactivity induction wasn't enough of a reward, I went ahead and threw a fountain drink on top of it (why not go from raisins to insanity in less than three minutes?).  Let me tell you, it might as well have been Christmas for this boy. The whole experience made me feel a bit like Santa in more ways than one - Oi, zee belly!!

His happy little grin and thankful heart were so endearing, I think I'll remember that afternoon for as long as I live.

Last night, in honor of the reoccurring cold temps, all of the boys found a spot around the fireplace and spent some time reading after supper.  I was so happy to see Henry right in there with his Dick and Jane book, sliding his little finger across the lines on the pages sounding out each word quietly to himself.  Every once in a while he would look up, with a twinkle of pride in his eyes, to see if anyone happened to notice that he was reading too. Such a sweet moment!!