There are three kinds of people in this world who decide that doing a dietary detox is a good idea:
1. Crazy People.
2. People who listen to their mothers.
3. People who feel like crap and can't stand going to the doctor.
Lucky for me, I'm all three. So, what's a detox you say?? Well, person #1 would call it dietary hell, #2 would say it's a process of ripping yourself away from beer and cupcakes in hopes that it might actually turn your mother-daughter chats into pleasantries instead of whiny-ass rants, and #3 would say it's cleansing your body of all the deliciously satisfying crap you have consumed over the years and losing your craving/desire for those foods in the process.
Sounds fun, doesn't it??
Why am I doing this detox thing?? Well, the thing is called the Whole30. And, I'm doing it (Day 16, baby!!) because my mama thinks that I should. Actually, that's only partially true. Here's the whole truth:
Around Christmas, my mom asked me if I had ever heard of the Whole30 and then proceeded to tell me about a friend of hers who was cured of her chronic migraines after doing the detox. "Awesome!" I said to myself while cracking open another beer and scanning the pantry for something salty. Ever since I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at the age of 19, I've been on a mission to stay as far away from prescriptifying doctors as possible, which has meant committing to a lifestyle of healthy eating and regular exercise. But, I'm no dietary saint. Beer, chips and chocolate are a necessary evil 'round here.
Okay, so the next time I saw my mom....AND the next 17 times we talked on the phone she asked me if I had read about the Whole30. Sometimes, I just want to rant about how sucky it is that my adrenals, hormones and thyroid are on strike, they refuse to work, and because of that I'm doggy dog-tired, foggy brained, over-sensitive, achy all over and, well, we'll leave the symptom list at that. But, no, my mom isn't just gonna let me rant, she is going to smack me with this Whole30 crap until I wake up and smell the suggestion.
If you want to, you can read all about the Whole30 here, but if you come away from their website thinking you might want to jump in on all this craziness, I recommend going all out and buying their book , It Starts With Food. For me, this was really important because I needed to know exactly WHY I was going to spend 30 days eliminating so many of the foods I enjoy from my diet. That's right, try to wrap your sweet little head around:
NO Grains (N.O.N.E. none. Buh-bye wheat, rice, corn, and every crazy gluten-free grain too.)
NO Dairy (Not really a biggie for me, but wine and cheese night with the hub is not going to happen without cheese. Or, wine. BumERRRRR!!!)
NO Alcohol (Please, a moment of silence.)
NO Sugar and NO Sugar Substitutes (Those healthy honey cookies and muffins?? OUT! Please pass the tissues.)
NO Legumes (Okay, no beans big deal right?? BUT did you forget about peanut butter - hello the mother of all snack-a-liciousness?? Major whammy. Major.)
If you are clawing something right now just thinking about letting go of any or all of these foods, I feel your pain! But, it also may be an indicator that this detox may be good for you. Eliminating the foods on their list from your diet (they believe) cleanses not only the body but also the mind from our psychological attachment to those foods. I'll admit, I snickered a bit at that idea, because for years I've been trying to eat clean, and watch the amount of sugar that I consume.
WRONG. I was WRONG.
Without going into too much depressing detail, I will say that detaching myself from even my pseudo-healthy diet hasn't been a cake-walk. I thought going gluten free (which has, by the way, significantly improved my health) was a challenge, but the Whole30 makes that seem like a chocolate butter cream frosting cake walk.
What the heck is the point of this post??
Well, I was supposed to tell you why I'm doing the Whole30. Did I cover that??
But, now, I think I'm gonna be my mama for a moment and say this to you:
I believe that the what we put into our bodies either nourishes it or hurts it. Much of the food we eat today is not at the standard for nourishment that it should be, and much of the food that we LIKE to eat is more toxic (processed and chocked full of preservatives) that nutritious. Soap-boxy, I know, but stay with me. That being said...
If you are tired every day all the time, achy, moody, struggling to concentrate, battling high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, or any other health issues that keep you from living a full life, and you HATE going to the doctor and PAYING for drugs please consider the Whole30. Go to the "Testimonials" and read, read, read about real people who have experienced the healing that can come from nourishing the body well.
This detox is requires commitment and focus and is not for those who like to have others tie their shoes for them. Just a fair warning. I've got 14 days to go, then I promise a full and thorough report of my own 30 days, just in case you need more convincing, encouragement or entertainment.
Whole30. Read about it here. If you cannot resist giving this thing a try, don't blame me, blame my mama. She started this whole thing.
Love, Peace and Detox.
P.S. Please forgive the potty-talk. I'm detoxing. It's a side effect. Pray for me.