Our son Henry has been indoctrinated by his older brothers into summer's classic time and energy leech (for parents), also known as baseball. He's a big t-ball player now, cheeks stuffed like a chipmunk with sunflower seeds, Gatorade stains on his uniform (before the game even begins), he's discovered that cleats are better for crushing bugs than for gaining traction on a double.
His brothers have taught him everything he knows about the game, and just to prove to them that he's been paying attention to their example, he showed off his super-skills at the very first game by sliding at every base - every base, despite the coaches yelling, "Henry, stop sliding, just run!" Not only did he ignore them, he also thought it quite impressive to perch proudly on home plate after sliding in, squinting through dirt and sun to see which parents were watching the whole production. Well, every parent was, and every parent was shouting at him to get up so that their kids could have a moment too.
Sweet, Jesus. Sweet, sweet Jesus, please help me not to spew my seeds on little miss "MOVE IT!" over here.
On the way home from the game, this conversation between father and son took place:Dad: Henry, what do you think about when you get up to bat?
Henry: Well, Dad, mostly I think about growing up so that I can have my very own pocket knife.
Dad: Oh, you don't want to grow up too fast, son.
Henry: Well, I think I'm at least old enough to have my own pair of pliers. That would be awesome for me. Then, I don't have to think about tools when I bat, I can just think about baseball!
The next day, I was planning a trip to town, and promised Henry that we could go by the Farm 'n Home and pick up a shiny new pair of pliers for him. But, that morning, before loading up, Henry came running into the house, bursting with excitement over his new "gift." Grandpa just happened to have an extra pair and an extra leather holder to go with them!
He would saunter a few yards across the lawn then stop to pull up his pants, wiggling his little bottom from side to side. I couldn't stifle my giggles - it was the cutest darn thing I'd ever seen!
Well, I mostly use them for pulling nails out of boards, and stickers out of my feet.