Raising Boys: 10 Loving Lessons Just For Moms

After receiving a number of e-mails from new readers asking questions on the topic of raising boys, I thought I would reach out to them by re-posting the following article that I wrote last spring. 
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If someone would have told me 13 years ago that I would someday be the mother of 5 boys, I'm not sure if I would have laughed or ran screaming in the opposite direction!!  Raising our sons has offered me greater challenges and deeper joys than I could have ever imagined.  And, while, I would dearly love to have a daughter, I wouldn't change a chapter of this story for anything!

When our first son, Ben, was born, I had read so many books on motherhood that I thought for sure I had it all down, and that it would be just that - textbook, predictable, planned.  Go ahead and laugh, because I am!! Good golly, I even tried to apply the "textbook" method to Ben's labor and delivery, and (of course) it went NOTHING like I imagined it was supposed to. Life has a terrific way of humbling us, doesn't it??

Nearly 13 years and 5 sons later, I have learned a great deal from many incredible parents, grandparents and numerous experts a wealth of essential tips and truths on raising healthy, happy boys.  Without any girls to identify with, I'll readily admit that, at times, I have felt overwhelmed and confused, to say the least. Some of the lessons have been difficult, and yet others have come surprisingly natural to me (I account those to grace alone.).  And, I'm still learning - every day, I'm learning.  Thankfully, I have an amazing husband by my side to help me understand the (sometimes) maddening mysteries of manhood! 

I often hear parents say, "We raise all of our children the same, none are ever treated differently....it's only fair, really."  Pardon me, while I respectfully disagree with that for a moment.  While I applaud any parents' aspirations to be fair and just, what we must realize is that fair doesn't always mean "same" or "exactly alike." Every child deserves to be raised as an individual, as they each have different needs, different personalities, and different gifts.  And, I know this is going to be a shocker, but boys and girls should not be raised the same.  Loved equally, yes, absolutely.  Raised identically, no. I hope that as you read on, you will find sincerity as well as objectivity in my explanations. 

Are you still here?? Great!! I'd love to share with you some of the lessons that I have learned about raising, nurturing and understanding the heart of a boy, lessons that may seem obvious to a dad, but ones that perhaps a mom might appreciate hearing from the heart of another mom.  In the end, I hope you come away from this post feeling encouraged and supported in your very important, irreplaceable role as a mother.

1.  This may be an obvious one, but boys need to have the freedom to wrestle and climb, to roar and grunt and karate chop your house plants. They do not have ADD, they have energy, and they need an generous amount of time and space to run free.  Don't freak out when they act a little wild, a little fearless. Don't take them to the doctor, don't Google symptoms of hyperactivity, and don't suffocate them by constantly telling them to calm down, sit down and be quiet.  No, I don't mean let them behave destructively or disrespectfully (more about that in #2), but do not stifle their enthusiasm.  If you do, they will rebel and probably find a way to channel their energy into something else, something unhealthy.  I see many young boys engaging in video games, because they truly feel as though they have nothing else to do. This is a travesty. Trust me, it is very, very difficult to mend a boy's broken spirit.  Let them play!  You will have to repaint your walls, reinforce their bunk beds with scrap iron, and patch holes in their jeans.  Accept that, and then let them be off on their next adventure.

2.  As a natural response to #1, please know that I am speaking in terms of balance, not extremes.  That being said, boys do need to be taught self-control, prudence, the value of being polite, having manners and demonstrating proper etiquette.   Don't make excuses for them when they are thoughtless, rude or sloppy, by saying, "Oh, he's just being a boy!"  If you patiently teach them that times and situations call for a particular type of behavior and attitude, they will not only become natural leaders, but they will also gain self-confidence as well as the respect of others. Moms, it is proper for us to expect good manners at the supper table, "please" and "thank you" in daily interactions and please, never, ever allow your son(s) to speak disrespectfully to you (your husband should always be at your side in these situations). Knights were once required to learn proper etiquette/manners before they could wield a sword. It was the beginning stage of proving their worth as knights. Why? Self-control and discipline in the small things opens the door to strength and wisdom in the bigger battles of life.

3.  This lesson was inspired by Dr. Dobson's Bringing Up Boys, and I'm sharing it with you, because we've heeded it with every single one of our boys, and hold fast to it's importance. As moms we hold our baby boys close with all of our motherly love and attentiveness, as we should, but when our sons turn 2, it is very important for us to use those arms to toss them towards daddy! Step back a bit.  Allow more father-son time to take place, one-on-one.  This will help foster the natural masculinity of your son, because he will be able to identify more assuredly with his father.  You don't need to be gone for long periods of time, just an hour or two each week.  Consider going for an evening walk a couple of times a week, meeting up with friends, shopping for groceries or encouraging your "men" to go outside and play together or work on a project while you make supper.  Your son won't love you less - in fact, he will love and appreciate you even more! Let him go out and be a "big boy" with his papa.  He needs this from you.   In addition, I have seen many moms over the years who have an excessive (controlling) closeness with their sons, sons who are young men or even adults.  Cut. The. Cord.  Your main man should be your husband, he is first in priority of your love and attentiveness, not your son.  Your son should know his place in the family, without question.....and so should you.

4.  You didn't think I would forget to add how horribly and horrifyingly gross boys can be to this list did you?? If your boys should ever get lost in a forest and are near starvation, they will not hunt for berries or edible plants.  They will eat their boogers and then yell, "MOM!!!" until they loose their voices.  The whole booger issue totally mystifies me, and I find them everywhere, I mean everywhere!!  And, then there's the poop saga.  I have literally gone into my sons' bathroom 3 days in a row and seen no toilet paper on the ring.  Seriously??  Then, I get to the laundry and I see the damage that 3 days of no toilet paper can do. Uuuggghhhh!!! (I KNOW you can relate!!)  "Stop picking, please wipe, don't forget to flush and, for the love of Pete, wash your hands!!" will be on repeat for all of us moms until our boys flee the nest.  The only real way to deal with this unfortunate circumstance is with wine.  Lots and lots of wine.

5.  Cook for your sons.  They will never forget how beautifully you loved them in this sacrificial way. I know it seems small or old-fashioned, but some of our best family conversations have taken place around the supper table. And, I get the BEST hugs after a killer meal!  Food can also be used to achieve particular goals.  Are you followin' me here??  If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so too be a boys!  Hold a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies above their heads and their rooms will be cleaned faster than you can say dust bunnies.

6.   Chill out a bit with the toy weapons.  I once had a neighbor who would not let her child play with my boys, because we allowed them to have wooden rifles.  However, she thought that swords were just fine - you know, a more civilized way of engaging in warfare.  Oh, I get it!! No, I don't, I'm lying right now. {Sigh.} Like it or not, here's the facts: If you keep every plastic pistol or pirate sword out of a boy's grip, they will find a way to fashion some type of weapon out of tree branches, tinker-toys or chop-sticks.  Your boys are not violent, they are not killers or haters, and letting them play with toy weapons isn't going to turn them into monsters.  Boys are born to be protectors, and if their instincts are nurtured in the proper way, someday they will protect your freshly sprouting garden from pests and more importantly, they will protect a lady from a predator - without hesitation.  Your sons are in more serious danger of developing a violent nature when they engage in violent video games, television and movies than they are if allowed to participate in innocent, imaginative play with friends. Just ask your father or grandfather - those "great" generations - about this.

7.  The world is pretty good at telling boys that they aren't as good as girls or really any different than girls, so they shouldn't act different or be different.  This is a terrible lie.  Don't buy into it.  Boys absolutely need to be boys and feel no shame or make no apologies for that. Praise and admire their masculine strengths!  Our sons natural talents should not be minimized because they are faster or stronger than their female peers, and they shouldn't be punished for it either.  As men and women, we're made to be complimentary not competitive, unique, not uniform.  It is our very complimentarity that brings beauty, strength and individuality to the world.  When you embrace your authentic femininity as a mother, you actually help your son grow to become an authentic man. 

8.  If you were ever a cheerleader back in the day, now is the time to practice those chants.  Boys don't need us to tell them how to throw the ball or tackle the opponent (even though many of us are awesome at sports and could easily coach our sons!), they need us to cheer for them, to encourage them, and then to let them know that we'll be their most loyal supporter, win or lose, whether it be on the football field or in the classroom.  Don't be a boss.  I've been to countless athletic events where the mom is  screaming red-faced at her son while the dad stands by texting on his phone. Those aren't tough-love moms, they're misguided moms.  And Dads, oh, dads, (slap-slap) wake up.  As parents we are here to guide, not take over the coach's job, and not make our sons feel as though their very lives depend on a touch-down pass.  Rah-rah, that's your job.  Now do it.  Do it proudly, moms!

9.  This one is closely related to #8.  A boy's (and a man's) biggest fear is failure.  So many mom's out there want to raise "good" boys who are virtuous and successful in life.  But, I know from experience, that when I'm on them all of the time with everything (school work, chores, fighting with siblings etc.) they can easily lose confidence in themselves.  They are already putting enough pressure on themselves in every aspect of life, they don't really need us to drop a few hundred extra pounds on their shoulders.  There are times when I've gone to bed at night and felt contrite for being too nit-picky with my young boys, for being too hard on them, for taking discipline too far, for lecturing too long. Let things go once in a while....it's okay.  Sometimes they need a hug and a pass more than they need a lecture or a punishment. (Isn't that true for us as well??)

10.  Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I must confess that one of the most difficult aspects of living in a house full of boys is dealing with my own sensitive nature.  As women, we are more easily hurt, offended and slighted than men are.  It doesn't mean that boys are insensitive or cold, they just aren't wired the same way that we are, and as moms, we need to show them how to be more tender without belittling their personhood or being overly dramatic.  One thing that has helped me when I'm tempted to fall into loneliness or self-pity after being slighted by a son is this: Whenever one of my sons draws me a picture or writes me a note of any kind, I save it in a special place.  And, when one has hurt my feelings or is struggling with a particular discipline issue that is difficult for me to handle, I go back to the pictures/notes and remember the love that my boys have for me, and the love that I have for them.  It truly does mend a broken heart.

A boy is Truth with dirt on its face,

Beauty with a cut on its finger,

Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair,

and the Hope of the future with a frog in it's pocket.

~ Author Unknown

The Wad of Gum In My Hair and Other Weekly Wonders {7QT}

Happy Friday, beautiful people!!  Here they are, my 7 Quick Takes for the week!

1.  Tropical Trident is the (Hair) Bomb

Let's just start by getting the sticky stuff out of the way, shall we?? This week wasn't one I'd like to revisit, but it's over, and I'm hoping that the weekend will medicate my melancholy mood. Before I put the past behind me, let me just share one of the (many) Jack-n-Coke moments of the week...  

While sitting at the desk painfully paying bills, dear sweet Charlie climbed up on my lap and smothered me with one of those slobbery neck hugs that I love so much.  After hopping down, he turns to me and says, "Where my gum go?" My first thought was that it was now thoroughly wrapped up in carpet threads somewhere, or clinging to his clothes, so I begin to hunt everywhere for the lost wad of chaw.  It was nowhere to be found.  BUT THEN....

Hours later, while pulling my hair up into a ponytail I feel a lump of something sticky.  No, no, no, no, no, nooooooo!!! All the denial in the world couldn't make that chunk of tropical flavored Trident disappear.  That's what I get for desperately trying to pacify a toddler's chompers during an English lesson on pronouns.  I knew peanut butter would get it out, but GAG.  I couldn't do it.  Then, I read online that the salt and oil in the peanut butter is what dissolves the gum.  A little conditioner and some table salt did the trick.  Whew! No need for scissors!

2.  Call Me Camera Happy 

Tuesday was one of those beautiful days where the sun was soft, the breeze light and everything about autumn seemed perfect.  Such a lovely setting was just the spark of motivation I needed to get the kids' pictures taken for the family Christmas card.  In just a few minutes, everyone was dressed and perched in a pose.  With my camera ready and a bucket of bribes at my side, I went for it. To my surprise, things went relatively smooth! And, after about 3 minutes of snapping group pics, they actually asked me to take individual shots.  I was sooooo surprised and totally delighted that they wanted to keep the photo happy moment going! My favorite family pictures are usually the un-posed ones, but once in a while, it's nice to have a calm, focused shot that doesn't have random limbs or flying objects in the background.

Benedict 12

Andrew 11

George 9

Henry 6

Charlie 2.5 

3.  A Thought-Provoking Read

A very wise couple, whom Steve and I just recently met, sent us a link to an article that I has had me thinking about and re-evaluating certain aspects of parenthood lately.  The article, posted on Joshua Harris' blog, is titled Homeschool Blindspots, but it's not really just for homeschoolers. It's for all parents, particularly those who are trying really, really hard (perhaps too hard) to do everything right. I hope you'll make time to read it - then let me know what you think.

4.  A Homeschool Book I (Admittedly) Love

When I bought this book to enrich Andrew's history curriculum this year, I knew that his interest in it would be questionable, because he HATES to craft.  But, I decided to give it a go, and he really enjoys it.  With 3 different grades to manage, finding activities that are effective and efficient are a challenge. This activity fits the bill.  While Andrew cuts and assembles the historical figures, I read the accompanying biography card to him.  Then, he researches and selects a quote from the figure, and we hang both up on the classroom wall. George Washington's bubble says: It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the bible. 

 5.  Our Election Baby's Birthday

{George receiving Henry's gift - because one can never have too many flashlights!}

On Sunday we celebrated our son, George's, 9th birthday.  We fondly refer to him as our election baby, because I labored with him through the night of the 2004 presidential election. Watching your kids grow up is always bitter sweet.  To me, they will always be my babies!!

6.  I'm Hosting Thanksgiving!

              

Rosemary & Chipotle Spiced Nuts and Ranch Pretzels call for beer!

This year, with my mom's recent health news, I've decided to rally the sibling troops together to give her a break and host Thanksgiving here at our house. We're crazy excited to have everyone (except my dear sister, Sara) here for the holiday.  My goal is to have everything be fabulous but not fussy. So far, I have a list of snacks and bar tending adventures covered (I like to prioritize). Do you have any advice for me? A favorite recipe to share? Please feel free to comment! 

 7.  Running in Awe of Autumn

{The grass along the highway where I ran on Sunday glistened in the afternoon sun!}

I run year round, and really do love to savor the changing of the seasons each time I hit the road. But there's something really special about fall.  It's the season I rarely run with headphones. The sounds of the leaves rustling on the trees, the rich red and deep brown hues stretched across the landscape are the last breath of an earth's reeling in a moment of glory before the deep sleep of winter. Such spiritual sights capture my attention and draw me into greater gratitude for all of the blessings in my life, it moves me to praise, to pray, to soak in every last step.  Isn't it wonderful how God's grandeur can do that??

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends!!

Put Your Party Hat On - Five (Favorite) Reasons We Love to Celebrate the Lives of the Saints

Charlie having a ball at our annual St. Patty's Day party.

We're pretty big partiers in this house. You should know that by now about us.  We get a little crazy with food and love and presents on birthdays, new babies are celebrated daily for at least a good six months, then there's sporting victories and end-of-the-season parties.  We like to have good grade parties and shin-digs for excellent performances at recitals, and that's all on top of the normal holidays. So, if that weren't already enough to raise the roof, why not add the feast days of the saints to the party calendar??

Some people, especially non-Catholics, may think it's a little bit hoakie to celebrate the life and achievements of a bunch of dead people.  I get that.  Sort of.  But, if the squeemers and doubters came to our house and dined with us, and read about the lives of the saints with us, and raised their glasses with us, I bet the keys to the kingdom that those people wouldn't hate it. Hoakie? Maybe.  Hate? Naaah.

When our homeschool life began, so did the seriousness of our acceptance of the responsibility to teach our children about Christ and the Church.  As Catholics, in the recitation of our wedding vows, we make the promise to be the primary catechists of our kids.  It was natural, then, for us to choose to incorporate church history and biographies of the lives of the saints into the boys' education.  Now, remembering the saints is  just a part of the rhythm of life for us - there is no separation of our Faith and daily life.  Our daily life is our Faith, it's living it, learning it, and striving after it every day.

Here's 5 darn good reasons to consider celebrating the lives of the saints in your home too (if you enjoy a good St. Patty's Day brew or some chocolate on St. Valentine's Day, you're already on your way!):

1.  The saints weren't always saints.

The first time I thumbed through the Butlers Lives of the Saints as a high-schooler, I wasn't thrilled. The pages were filled with characters, mostly priests or nuns, who seemed to be bear the gene of automatic super-piousness.  If their lives seemed unrelatable and their holiness unattainable, what was the point of reading on??  Some of my reaction was a natural aversion to the way the book was written, highlighting only the achievements of the saint, and not the real life stuff, and some was due to my own immaturity.  Now that I've studied various sources on numerous saints, I feel quite the opposite.

It's comforting to know that while many of the saints were born with an unusually deep desire to live a virtuous life and to please God, even more of them battled temptations, lived worldly lives, made grave errors (hello, St. Augustine's "Confessions" is like the soap opera that fell in some holy water), they were arrogant, vain, jealous, deceitful, promiscuous and the list goes on.  But, in the end, they all chose Christ over and over again, and show us that it's never to late to say no to ourselves and yes to grace.  I think my kids can relate to that.  I know I can.

2.  You don't have to be a nun, a priest or a martyr to become a saint.

I used to think that was true. I thought, hey that's just a nice little group of holy nuns and priests over there, and I'm over here hangin' out in the "runner-up" category of married people. Wrong, again!  While there aren't as many written accounts of married saint's as religious saints, I believe there are countless married saints in heaven that we will never know about.  Marriage and the raising of children is a supreme sacrifice that has the beautiful potential to lead us to deeper union with Christ (which is the definition of holiness) if we embrace it.  The work of Opus Dei inspires me ever day to seek and believe the truth that our everyday work, whatever it may be, can lead us to holiness.  St. Josemaria, a priest, and founder the Work, was a great inspiration to, and advocate for, married people and their families.

3.  Saints can pray for us, so maybe we should get to know them before we ask for stuff.

Often times, when driving by a cemetery, I will spot a person or two sitting next to the grave of a loved one whom they miss very much.  But, chances are, they aren't just sitting, but talking to that person, asking that person to watch over them, to help them, to pray for them.  I think it's amazing the way the God has wired into us a desire to remain connected with those we love, even after they're gone.  That's not sentiment, it's real and natural experience of love and the longing we all have inside for heaven (whether we feel it or know it to be true, it's there).  We can ask the saints in heaven to intercede for us any time. Taking our special and most urgent requests to them, it is with faith that we believe that they will lay our needs before the Lord and pray for our acceptance of whatever the Lord's will may be.  I feel like I have an army of people cheering me on through life upstairs!

{Please don't mistake me, I'm not suggesting you bypass the Lord himself (as if it's possible to bypass omniscience.)  Of course you can pray directly to Christ! I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't, but it doesn't hurt to have a support group advocating for your every need, does it?}

4.  Saints exist outside of time and, yet, their writings are timeless.

This one comes on the heels of #1, but I cannot say enough about the personal writings of many of the saints, and the application to our daily lives, even though they may have been penned hundreds of years ago.  Don't believe me? Just read any of St. Paul's epistles in the bible - he address so many of the things we struggle with today, and gives us the supreme answer to the problems: JESUS.  Just a few other examples of Saints whose writings have won my heart are St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Faustina, St. Edith Stein, St. Josemaria Escriva, St. John Vianney, St. John Bosco, Blessed Mother Theresa, Blessed John Paul II and St.Bernard of Clairvoux.

5.  We can always use another reason to eat cake!

Seriously, if not for any other reason than to make something chocolate, then by all means honor them with chocolate!  We don't celebrate the life of every saint, but there's at least 2 or 3 each month that we never miss.  Sometimes I try to make the food specific to an aspect of the saint's life, so that the kids can make a connection, and other times, we just celebrate with something yummy.  For example, we honor St. Faustina, Blessed John Paul II and St. Maximillian Kolbe all together with Polish brats and sourkraut.  For. St. Therese's feast day, I make mini rose cakes, and for St. Patrick's day it's traditional Irish Beef and Guinness stew.  Many of the feasts have become traditions for our family, and the boys really love knowing what we will be enjoying for food and/or games and activities that day.  They look forward to it with great expectation!

My "go-to" resources for celebratory ideas (crafts, recipes, books etc.) are:

Catholic Icing

Catholic Cuisine

Shower of Roses

Building the Family (cookbook)

A Continual Feast (cookbook)

Recent Party Pics:

{More Feasting Ideas under "Faith"}

St. Therese's Feast Day (October 1):

Charlie loves to help me bake!

The table is set with roses and our favorite book about Therese.

Lemon rose cakes with lemon glaze.

Feast of the Guardian Angels (October 2):

The boys made angel wings from pretzels, white chocolate and sprinkles.

All Saints Day (November 1):

George: St. Paul

Andrew: St. Andrew

Henry: St. George

Charlie: St. Francis of Assisi

Eight was Great, But Nine is Prime! Happy Birthday, George!

I'll never forget the memorable evening, 9 years ago, when I began to labor at home in happy, yet nervous, anticipation of the arrival of our third son, George.  It was 2004, a presidential election year. I was determined to hang out at home for as long as possible, and spent the night on the couch drifting in and out of sleep, watching the ballot counts swing back and forth between Bush and Kerry while the contractions came and went.

At the crack of dawn, the time between contractions was getting much shorter, and I knew it was time for Steve to speed me away to the hospital. The moment our sweet, perfect, baby George was born I didn't anticipate that every single person in the hospital would ask me if we named him after George Bush, but they did. Over and over again, they asked.  Over and over again we said, "NO!!" (Oh, he should be so lucky!)

George and my dad happy to be holding each other.

George was lovingly named after my dad's father, George Anthony Splichal.  I cherish the photos and stories we have of Grandpa George, and love sharing them with our George. He knows darn certain he's not named after a past president.

Sunday we celebrated George's 9th birthday.  Now that he's figured out the calendar system, he's been counting down the days until his special day for over a month.  His enthusiasm is really so endearing.

The birthday boy in our family always knows to expect a smothering of hugs and kisses, birthday breakfast, the recollection of funny stories from his past and a walk through pages of past photos from birth to present.  You would think they would tire of this routine, but they live it and love it like it's something fresh and new every single time.  Traditions are wonderful like that, aren't they?

After Mass hungry tummies came home and feasted on a huge brunch, and after the last bite, George opened his gifts. I love how the brothers really get into shopping for each other.  They strategize every detail from which store to browse to how much they can spend to finding that one thing they know the birthday boy will love. It's painful to keep it a secret until the big day, and trying to contain their squeals of delight when he opens their perfect present is impossible!

We let the boys give George his big gift, which was a new bike, and I thought it was so wonderful the way they had to orchestrate the whole thing so that it would be the ultimate surprise.  Steve and I just sat sipping our coffee and watched the plan unfold.

George was exiled to another room while Ben and Andrew retrieved the bike.  Then, Ben had to cover George's eyes for the big reveal.  The moment he saw the bike, George played the perfect recipient, expressing great surprise, gratitude and excitement all at once.

True to boy form, George took it to the pavement, racing up and down the street with his brothers who had to prove which bike is the fastest.

Later that afternoon, Steve took the boys and George's buddy, Tim, to All-Star sports for some laser tag and rock wall climbing.  Then, we met Steve's parents for supper and birthday cake - a perfect way to end the day.

It's a beautiful experience for me, George, to recall your birth story, your providential entrance into this world, into our hearts, into our home.  There is no one else in the world like you!  You, and all of your wild enthusiasm for hunting, sports and crafts, you and your carefree approach to life, you and your tender generosity, you and your pure boyish charm that wins my heart over every day.  I am better because of you - the world is and will continue to be a better place because of you.  I hope you know what at gift it is to be your mom and how very much you are loved on your birthday and every day of your life!

When You Want to Be the Mom You Think That Everyone Else Is

After early morning mass today, I had decided to skip blogging, instead I opted to sit and enjoy my cup of coffee, catch up on some news, and collect myself before school.  While checking one of my favorite Pro-Life websites, I came across a link to a video (below), that truly softened my somewhat hardened perspective on motherhood, on myself. (So, you know I HAD to share it with you!)

The one thing I prayed for at Mass this morning was the grace to see what is most important in life, to accept my imperfections and to be the best I can be for my children (according to the Lord's calling for my life, not the world's standards and expectations).  Yesterday was one of those days where I was really struggling with self-doubt and discouragement.  I confess to fighting a daily temptation of critical self-analysis, and I have a feeling that I'm not the only mom out there who fights these feelings.

It's that little relentless voice inside that says, "I wish I was funny, I wish I was more creative, I wish I could write better, cook better, craft better, I wish I could teach with more enthusiasm and less frustration, I wish I had the hormones I had in college, I wish, I wish, I wish."

But, the truth is, I'm not that perfect-in-pictures "Pinteresting" mom.
I'm not the most entertaining mom.
I'm not the most social mom.
I'm not the most glamorous mom.
I'm not the most athletic mom.
I'm not the most funny mom.
I'm not the most patient mom.
I'm not the most intelligent mom.
I'm not the most generous, sacrificial mom.
I'm not even close to being the mom I sometimes think everyone else is.

I AM MY KIDS' MOM.
And, they don't want me to be anyone else.